Her favourite book
by Roma-heichou
Summary: You must know that I'm Levi Ackerman, the Captain of the Special Operations Squad from the Scouting Legion, and I'm writing this so all of you damn curious brats can have answers to your damn ridiculous and curious questions. Also if you are reading this is probably because I'm gone or because you found it and I'm going to kill you next time we meet. Anyway…just freakin' read it!
1. Somewhere in 884

You must know that I'm Levi Ackerman, the Captain of the Special Operations Squad from the Scouting Legion, and huh… I'm writing this so all of you damn curious brats can have answers to your damn ridiculous and curious questions.

Also if you are reading this is probably because I'm gone or because you found it and I'm going to kill you next time we meet.

Anyway… just freaking read it.

Somewhere in 884 after my first Expedition with the Scouting Legion

After that, when we were back to the safety of the Scouting Legion's headquarters - certainly not due to Erwin and certainly another successfully failed expedition – I separated from everybody and crossed the room on my own.

Most glanced at me as I passed, giving judging glares and questioning stares, but to me that was nothing more than part of a world I didn't belong to. This strange faces of soldiers whom I should call comrades meant nothing to me, I cared for them as much I cared for the rocks on the street. In that moment, I felt empty, staring empty ahead and making my way to the room that I used to share with Farlan and Isabel.

All of a sudden, a woman which I can't recall the name and didn't feel like cracking my mind to remember, showed up in front of me with a "Hey, Levi". Assuming that she was just being her usual self I didn't really react and simply made my way past her, or so I thought. I felt her hand holding my arm firmly and pulling me to her chest into a tight and heartfelt hug.

Everything in the room seemed to stop and stare because apparently the short time I've been here was enough to gain reputation. A reputation of putting anyone who dared to invade my personal space on the floor and that was the reason why they were shocked – she was still standing and hugging me tight. I didn't know why though. Did she know what happened? No, that was impossible, but I don't think she could read me either, no one could. According to everybody I always wore the same expression – plain and cold as if nothing could touch me.

I stood there, didn't move a single muscle. Perhaps because I needed that or wanted to, I'm not sure but even though she wasn't the type of girl that smelled like roses and fresh as if she had just taken a bath, her heartbeat was somehow making me feel better…or at least comforting me.

"I'll be here if you need anything" She whispered to me. I don't even know you woman! What the heck was going on? You know what?

"Enough" I said plainly and cold – as usual – as I pushed her away. Maybe I could have thanked her but that wouldn't be the same, would it? Instead, I turned and made my way out as fast as I could continuing my way to the room.

The door opened with its usual creak and I stood there, staring blankly at the empty room. The plain white curtains flew softly with the breeze that came in by the window and the weak light of the end of the day wasn't enough to warm the cold air in there. I walked in, letting the door shut with a quiet thud, and dragged my feed to my bed. It was the usual stupid and uncomfortable mattress covered in those damn dirty white sheets, my stuff was neatly resting exactly where I had left them and so was Isabel's and Farlan's. In fact, nothing had changed except that they would never walk in that door again and light up my mood with cheerful smiles and exciting conversations, nor would they help me warm up the room.

I was pressing myself on the wall, sinking my heart deep in my chest and locking it away as my mind kept showing me pictures of those two friends of mine that I could call family. The only people that I ever cared about and that were now dead. Dead because I made the wrong choice. Because I chose to go after Erwin alone and abandoned them under the rain and fog. Dead because we fell into that blonde smarty-pants bastard's trap and I failed to make the best decision and regret was all the filled me the moment I fell asleep.

After what I thought to be half an hour later but was in fact a good three hours later, I hear the door in distance – I was still sleeping, lost somewhere between asleep and awake but I'll call it sleeping. There were soft steps, clothes rustling and a kind hand curling its fingers in my hair strand – let's just assume they were clean, don't even want to think otherwise.

"Levi…" A woman's voice. It couldn't be Isabel's. No this was…the woman from before! "Levi" I woke up rather abruptly, sitting up. "Sorry, didn't want to startle you" She smiled.

"What do you want?"

"I just wanted to make sure that you were alright"

I sighed, clearly annoyed. "You don't know me"

"Of course I do! You're Levi and we are friends!"

"No we are not"

"Yes we are!" I sighed again and she continued. "Look. I don't know what happened" Wait what? "But I'm worried. You seem down but like I never seen before, as if you were pushed down a cliff" How the fuck?! "What? Did I say something wrong?"

I didn't really notice that I froze eyes wide and staring at her. My head shook violently I looked away and pulled myself together. She was waiting for me to say something but I was still trying to understand how did she know that, could she read me? Was I that easy to read? That's impossible… I always had problems with people because of that, people can't really read through me and for sure she couldn't be the first one.

"Did Erwin tell you anything?" I know she said she knew nothing and that explains the hurt look I got from her but I had to ask. "He told you what happened, didn't he?"

"I told you I knew nothing" She pouted. "Though I can sort of guess what happened. The way you might be feeling and the lack of your friend's presence…" She paused as if a sudden realization of something she didn't want to be true hit her. "They…"

"Died. Yes, they're dead…" Yeah, I was feeling empty and those were empty words but she took them as freezing cold, lowering her gaze to the floor. The way she sat there, in the edge of my bed, as if she could feel my pain, it somehow made me feel… uncomfortable. "If you want you can sleep in one of those beds" I said and of course she stared at me. Yes! I was saying she could sleep in Farlan or Isabel's bed but I have my own damned reason so don't freaking judge me!

She dragged herself to the bed opposite to mine – Farlan's – and lied down facing me. I wasn't really feeling like watching her fall asleep so I turned my back to her and drifted away in my own darkness.

The following morning she was gone when I woke up but the bed was still warm and messier than Farlan used to leave it and here I was reminding myself of the idiots I lost whose presence still lingered in the room.

My bed was neat and so was I – without a proper bath though – ready to go out as soon as she returned. Her hair was messy – probably slept with the ponytail and instead of re-doing it she was walking around with that sleep head mud brown mop she called ponytail. She wore a sleepy look as she walked in with two mugs of coffee and milk, and looked around trying to locate her glasses.

"In your head, four eyes"

"Oh! Thanks!" With a smile on her face she reached me one of the mugs. "I hope you like coffee" That was definitely the worst coffee I ever tasted but I drank it anyway – I was used to poor living anyway.

"So, do you have anywhere to go?" She asked as she sat down on the bed where she slept. I gave her a questioning look. "We have a week off. That's why I asked"

I glanced at the window, taking another sip of that damn coffee and she got the message – yes, I was still trying to understand whether she could read me or not.

"Do you… Do you want to come with me?" The way I glanced at her made her nervous but she didn't blush at all – not a cute girl. "I don't have a family and I live alone… D-Don't take it wrong! I just-"

"Sure"

"What…?"

"I'll go with you" My gaze was on the mug when I said that but the moment I looked at her, well, it was as if I just gave a kid his favourite candy. I could totally imagine a dog in her place – a dirty brown mutt with its ears perked up to me and tail wagging a thousand times per minute.

Looking back at the mug in my hand, I took the last sip of my drink and placed it on the table next to her, heading to the door afterwards. "Tidy up your crap. Wash and put the mugs back in its place"

"Can't I just leave them in the kitchen and someone else washes it?"

"Wash it" I glared before turning to the corridor. "I'll be waiting outside" And headed down downstairs hoping that her house wasn't as messy as she was. But I was so damn mistaken.

When we got there, my jaw dropped and I considered returning to the headquarters. She wasn't just a messy creature, she a huge smelly and dirty four eyed mud monster!

"So? Like it?"

"No! This is gross! Who the fuck lives here?!"

She lowered her head. "I do…"

I'm never going to admit or believe that for I second I thought of taking it back and classified her as cute, and that was why I stayed. "We're cleaning this mess"

She wasn't the best housekeeper ever – so totally out of the stereotypical girl – and whatever she cleaned I had go and clean after her because I don't really understand how she did that but all she cleaned got worse.

Either way, after a good couple of hours, it was the cleanest place where I was ever allowed to live in – even if just for a day.

"God, this was tiring" she sighed heavily, slumping herself on the sofa. "I'm never cleaning again" and I snorted at that, holding in laughter as I headed to the kitchen, only to find that there was nothing to eat or drink.

Her head appeared on the door. "Tell me" I started. "What the heck do you eat?!"

She blinked her eyes twice before starting her giant speech about how she prefers to eat a sandwich, biscuits or some fruit instead of cooking because that takes too much time and accelerates the process of dirtying the kitchen because as I had already noticed, she doesn't like cleaning and the time she wastes cooking she rather waste it reading or studying titans – and I cut her off here because she was going to start a new speech about titans and that would take for ever.

"OK. I get the picture" I turned and headed out. "Come on. Let's go"

"Where are we going?"

"Shopping or do you intend to eat the house?"

The city centre was alive, completely indifferent to whatever was going on around them. People laughed and chatted loudly as they bought their groceries, children running here and there and men getting drunk at the bar while their women did the house chores. In a quick conclusion, no one would ever say these people have tasted despair and fear to their maximum levels under a titan attack.

Either way, I found out soon enough that it wasn't all pink ponies and rainbows, food was scarce and once in a while there were fights over a loaf of bread but it seemed legit since most were trying to feed their children.

We bought some food and drink – nothing like meat and refined wine of course, that didn't really fit our pockets.

"This bread smells so good~ I can't wait to get home and eat it" I was going to answer but something caught my eye and I came to a stop. "Levi?"

There was a woman, sat down in the corner of a narrow street, crying quietly. My steps were soundless as I walked over to her and she only noticed me when I crouched in front of her. As I looked into her eyes, I noticed the pain of losing loved ones and something told me it was her child.

"Daughter…?" She nodded, looking down as her eyes refilled with tears and her delicate hand covered her mouth trying not to cry. I picked up a loaf of bread and a milk bottle from the ones I just bought. "Here" She looked back up at me as if trying to make sure that I was really offering her food and trying to understand why, what reminded me of other people I tried to help once in the underground city. "Take it. Don't give up your life"

"But I'm… I'm alone. I don't have any reasons to keep on living. I lost her! My daughter! All I could ever wish for…and it's gone…"

"Live for her" She looked confused. "Keep her memory alive. Live for her. Live the life she wished to have with you"

"She just wanted to see me happy… see me smile…"

"Then do so" I said and once again offered her the bread and the milk I was still holding in my hands. Her smile as she accepted it was pure and true.

Satisfied, I got up to join the four eyes waiting for me but the woman had one more question. "May I know the name of this angel with such great kindness?"

"Why such curiosity?"

"I'd like to thank him properly someday"

"All I can tell you is that that angel has a wing of darkness" And with that, four eyes and I got back to our way home.

She was all too quiet, occasionally glancing at me and I'll be honest it was pissing me off. If she wants to say something just say it damn it! But she didn't. Only when we got home. We placed the groceries in its place and sat on the living room eating some sandwiches since it was late in the after and I didn't felt like cooking at that moment.

"What is it…?" She shot me a questioning look. "You want to ask me something, what is it?"

She took another bite from her sandwich while staring at me and I waited. After swallowing it she spoke. "Why did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Helped that woman"

Finished with my food, I crossed my arms over my chest and watched her. "Did it bother you?"

"No, it's just that you don't seem the kind of guy that would stop to help someone in the street" She was being honest and it also proved me that she couldn't read me that well – when did I agree that she could read me at all?

"Let me guess" I rolled my eyes. "I look like that kind of guy that doesn't really care about anyone and doesn't give a shit about anyone. A cold hearted and frozen blood dude that only cares about himself, right?" She simply looked at me. I looked away with a breathed chuckle that didn't last more than a second and sighed. "You are all the same" I got up and headed to the hall. "Always judging when you know nothing…" How could I have thought she was different?

"Wait! Levi!" For some reason I stopped myself from opening the door and stood there with back turned to her and head hanging low, staring emptily at my feet. "That's not exactly what I see in you, it's just that everyone see that in you. I mean! The picture everybody else has of you is that cold and grumpy person and when I don't exactly know you…I sort of had to agree with them but that's not exactly what I see!"

"What do you see…?"

"I see…something else… someone else…" I heard her get a couple of steps closer. "A strong man that has been through a lot and closes himself in an ice shell to protect himself from the others but inside that shell burns a warm kind-hearted soul that, unlike everyone else thinks, cares about the world he lives in…" She was standing right behind me. "I don't know enough and I might be wrong but from what I can see and use to study you… you are like that because you suffered… you lost people important to you… and you continue suffering because of that… right?"

I have to admit, I was surprised. Not like she said much or great things but… I still was surprised. I turned slowly, first the head, giving her a curious look, and the rest followed. She was closer than I expected but I didn't try to get some distance and she didn't move either. A strong and sudden impulse to hold her, hug her close to me ran through my veins and I did my best to keep it in swallowing drily and shivering a little for a second but never looking away from her eyes. Perhaps I couldn't understand myself how much in a need I was, I mean, I had accepted coming to her house without thinking twice and right now I wanted to tie her to me, kiss her and make her promise she would never leave me but this was not love I was just needing someone there for me – never thought I was this needy – and I still couldn't remember her name! Could I do that to her? Could I reach my hand to her, pull her to me, kiss her…

I swallowed hard again and noticed that I unconsciously had parted my lips slightly. I sighed and glanced at the kitchen door.

"Are you alright?"

"I need water" I answered plainly not wasting another second to head inside the kitchen.


	2. What is she?

It was almost dinner time and I was getting tired of reading – yes, I spent the afternoon reading the newspaper and a couple of the few books she owned that were not about titans while she was sat by her desk doing whatever she did.

"Are you hungry?" I asked, closing the book and putting it in its place. She didn't answer – probably didn't even hear – and I walked towards her and leant against the wall, right next to her desk. Before asking it again, a certain paper caught by attention. It was a letter but I didn't read it, I was only interested in that perfect signature in the bottom of the page. "Hange Zöe…" I read and she lifted up her eyes from the paper under her pen. "Are you hungry?" I asked again and she nodded, eyes trying to read through me. "I'm going to make something for dinner then"

I headed to the kitchen and searched all the cupboards for something to cook, going for rice and eggs for an omelette. It didn't take long for her voice to rang, coming from the living room. "It's the first time you said my name" Yeah, I couldn't really remember your name at all. "Did you not know my name?" That startled me and I was too rough with the egg, doing a little bit of a mess.

Her pen made some noise when she put it down and I heard her chair too, scratching the floor and in a minute she was standing by the door. "What?" I asked as she was simply looking at me with a smirk.

"You didn't know my name, did you?"

"I knew your name I just couldn't recall it" She laughed and I turned to her. The rice was starting to leave that good scent while being cooked.

"You could have asked you know?"

"That's sort of rude don't you think?"

"Says the one calling me geek and four eyes"

I turned to the food again. "You are a geek"

"Clean freak"

"What?" I glanced at her.

"And you are a clean freak"

"Four eyes"

"Dwarf"

I sighed and reached a hand to an egg I wasn't going to use and in a quick and swift movement I threw it at her face. "Go take a bath, gross mud woman" I grinned mischievously. She looked a bit angry as she frowned at me and left.

By the time she came out of bath, I had just finished making dinner. We sat down together and ate in silence. After a while, when I looked at her properly, I was astonished, thank god I was finished eating.

"Tell me, geek, and be honest, do you even know how to take a bath?" She blinked her eyes but didn't look embarrassed – did she even have some shame or dignity? "Go back to the bath"

"But I-"

"Now"

I let her take off her clothes and get in the bath tub all by herself but I was the one to give her a bath.

"Levi!"

"Shut up" I tried my best to keep my eyes on hers but you know, with my size, the only thing at my eye level were her breasts. I opened the tap with hot water and filled the tub just enough to cover her till the collar bone and put a hand of soap in the water to make bubbles.

"Hey, that soap is expensive!"

"Do you want to show off that much?"

"No but…" She didn't even blush. "I just didn't ask you to give me a bath"

"You don't know how to take a bath"

"Of course I know!"

"You still have egg in your hair" She didn't answer as I started to wash her dirty brown strands. "If your hair is actually blonde I'm not talking to you again"

"Don't be mean…" She pouted as I massaged her head gently, with enough pressure to wash it properly and slowly noticed how much she was enjoying it – especially when I rinsed it with warm water, just in the perfect temperature.

"If I never learn to wash properly, will you keep washing my hair like that?"

"I'm not your mother" I answered, throwing water at her face.

When I walked in the living room – after my own bath – she was slumped on the sofa without a shirt or anything at all. "Would you put something on?" I kept walking, towel drying my hair.

"It's not anything that you haven't seen" She pouted sitting up. "And besides, I ran out of clean shirts"

My feet came to a stop. She didn't do the laundry either?! "What the hell do you do in this house?! You lazy pig!"

"Ah! Ah! Ah! I'm clean now"

"Shit head!"

"I'm humanity's brightest"

"Fuck you"

"Can I borrow a shirt from you?"

"No"

"Come on!"

"No"

"Pretty please~!

"No"

As you can probably guess, I borrowed her a shirt. "Only because I'm not feeling like looking at your breasts the whole night and because you are clean" The clean reason was an import one.

"I still thank you" She smiled. "By the way, I only have one room and-"

"I can sleep here"

"No! You're my guest and you have been doing a lot around here! Please sleep in my bed"

"It's your house. I'm fine here"

"No!"

"I'm telling you it is fine"

"But-" I simply glared at her and usually that would be enough. "I'm sleeping here with you then" What? No!

"You are going to your bed now. Fuck off geek!" I once again glared at her but she had lied down already and made herself comfortable. "Geek!" She continued ignoring me. "Hange!" And as if I clicked an invisible button she looked up at me. "Go to your bed"

She sat up and got up – slowly. I was still glaring at her, patiently waiting for her to take her way to her room but instead she just stood there, looking at me. Who the hell did she think she was to look at me like that?

"There is no map to your room tattooed on my forehead. Move"

And she moved, not to where I was expecting but she moved. She leant towards me and once again since I joined the Scouting Legion – counting when it was kind of against my will – I had someone trying to threaten me.

"This is my house, you are my guest, and you have worked a huge lot already so you are going to sleep in my room"

"Taking advantage of our size gap won't make you threaten me"

She leant closer. I could feel her breath and our noses brushing against each other. "I'm not trying to threaten you, little guy, I'm just staying my ground and that gives you two options. Sleep with me or sleep in my room" I simply stared at her. She smelt like that shampoo of hers that I happened to use too. "I am not changing my mind so please chose"

Her bed smelt like her shampoo too with a mix of some other scent, particular from her that was something warm and sweet that I couldn't tell exactly what it was and yes I ended up sleeping in her bed because I completely refused to sleep with her. In this moment I was asking myself why the heck I couldn't just push her off the sofa or something. No, Levi had to play gentleman with some geek from the army! What the hell?!

Morning came, and she was still sleeping soundly – uncovered, pillow on the floor and drooling over a cushion. That mess – because she had no other name in that moment – made me want to laugh and I did so, quietly, as I headed to the kitchen. I made some tea, filled two mugs with it and walked back into the living room where she was still drooling over the poor cushion. "Hey, geek" I called. "Geek… Geek!" She wasn't reacting at all so I placed both mugs on the coffee table and shook her. "Geek! Wake up!"

You know? It would have been easier to wake up a bear in winter and if we were under attack, she would sleep right through it. "Geek!" I was getting really tired of that shit so I slapped her and guess what? Nothing. "Hange!" Not the same effect as last night and as last resource I grabbed one of the mugs and gave her a morning bath with tea and that was when she woke up.

"What?! Ah… What happened?"

"Go wash yourself…" I said, simply, and turned to the kitchen with my mug in one hand and the empty one in the other. She didn't take long and in a couple of minutes she was zombie walking in the kitchen and sitting at the table. I placed another mug in front of her and sat opposite to her taking a sip of my own tea. She took a sip of it and when she put it back on the table, she was staring at me.

"What?"

"You threw this on me didn't you?"

"You are a pain to wake up" She simply nodded, turning her attention back to the mug. She didn't have her glasses on and I have to say, she was quite an interesting woman without them – don't take this as an "I'm interested in her".

"I was having a nice dream, you know?" I just lift my gaze from the mug to glance at her. "It was a world where we didn't have to worry about titans… People were happy… I had a family…" Her gaze was empty and her smile was full of sorrow. "Sometimes I ask myself, if freedom and peace is achievable. I ask myself if we're not just going to fight for ever and ever, to no avail at all…" She switched her gaze to me and I could see some life back to those brown orbs. "Lately I've seen the world in a different way. I've found things that are completely different if seen from a different point of view!"

"Like titans"

"Yes, titans and… you!"

"Me?"

"Yes!" I was confused and hoping that she was not planning to confess. "We've talked about it yesterday. In this last 24 hours that I spent with you I've learnt and seen various different things about you and what I can't understand now is how people think what they think of you"

"You are talking as if I was perfect…" I took another sip of my tea.

"Almost" And that's when I chocked and tried to make it gracefully and discreetly what was basically impossible.

"What?" She laughed at me – of course. "Stop it!" Useless thing to say but I still did and repeated. "Stop laughing, geek!"

"That was…. Priceless!" And she was laughing some more. But I made her pay the price for laughing by giving her another tea bath and thankfully she stopped. "You must love to see me naked" She grinned.

"As if you had anything good to see"

"You still force me to take a bath though" She got up and headed out the kitchen. "I'll leave the door unlocked" She winked before disappearing. One thing is true, I had to admire her ability to answer me and keep the game going; other people would just be offended but that was the proof that she wasn't just anyone and I have to say that I am glad to meet her.

I stayed there, sat on that creaky wooden chair, staring at my empty mug, slowly realizing how she has been keeping my head busy and stopping me from thinking too much about my awful decision of leaving Farlan and Isabel… and there I was again, as if she was some sort of happiness and the only thing able to pass it on to me.

The ceiling became the most interesting thing ever as I leant back on the chair and stared up at it, reviewing all my past life, my past, the best and the last moments I had with those two dorks. All the good and bad moments we had together that were only alive in my memory now.

She was taking too long in the bath and that was one of the reasons I got up to go check on her – the main one was because I wasn't feeling like staying there and getting any more depressed. "Hey geek" I called from outside the door. "Are you planning to spend the rest of eternity there or what?"

"Miss me already?" She sang and I leant my back against the door.

"Would it be weird if I said that I do?"

"Levi?"

I slowly slid down the door till I was sat on the cold floor. Yeah… I was a wreck and only realized that in that moment. "What?" Yes, I was trying to turn around the conversation as if I never said that.

"Are you alright?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Various reasons" I wasn't expecting that at all. "You don't speak about it and I hope that means you don't think much about it but I know that you are deeply hurt inside" And she was damn right. "You can talk to me, you know?"

I felt like saying something I never do. "Thank you…" I muttered and she didn't hear it – of course. None of us said anything for a long while but it's Hange and apparently she was sort of worried about it and only respected that moment because she doesn't want to push it.

"Levi?"

"Hm?"

"You can come in if you want" My eyes widened – did she really say that? "It's not like I have anything to hide anyway" Yes she did.

Just as she said, the door was unlocked and I walked in, shutting the door behind me and trying my best to avoid looking at her.


	3. Confusion

I was in a bath tub with a naked woman, most men wouldn't complain about it, in fact they would be more than happy but I'm not any ordinary man. My clothes were drenched and making me uncomfortable and I wasn't exactly happy with that. I'll tell you how I got in this current situation.

Well, after entering the bathroom and closing the door behind me and all, she said something like 'I'd feel less embarrassed if you looked at me you know?' and you know, I'm not the best gentleman in town and thank god she was no slut either so all I could see was her head. Either way, she didn't have her usual pony tail – guess she frees her hair after all – and the light from window in the other side of the bathtub gave her wet skin a precious glow.

"So, what's wrong?" She was smiling kindly. "Tell me"

My sort of amazed poker face vanished – yes I have different poker faces. "If you asked me to come in so you could force me to speak, I'm leaving"

"I didn't call you in. I said you could come in if you wanted" She started playing with the water. "You're in here because you want to" Did she just trick me? Did she just…fucking tricked me? She tricked me!

I did not move for the next minute of silence as the only disturbance was the soft sound of water and during all that moment, my eyes never left her. Yes, she made me feel better. Just being in her company made me feel better and I let out a relived sigh.

She glanced at me, still smiling, and started to play with the tips of her hair, curling it around her fingers. "Would you wash my hair?" I knew she was going to ask that, I just knew it. "Please?"

My head dropped in a curt nod and I walked over to the bath tub. She leant her head backwards and closed her eyes as I soaked her hair with warm water and then for the second time in two days, I washed her hair kindly and gently as if she was to brake at any moment. The simple action of cleaning something and feeling of cleanliness was almost like a day in the SPA for me, but she ruined my moment when I rinsed her hair.

"Don't you want to take a bath too? Take off the night sweat?"

I thought about it for a second. "Maybe. When you finish"

"Why? Just get in here"

"Thank you very much but no thank you"

"Come on clean freak!"

"No. Geek! No!" And the first think I said after being basically pulled into the bathtub was. "Bitch…"

"Sometimes, yes"

"Ugh" I stared – almost glared – at her eyes doing my best not to look lower. There are other ways to save water, you know?"

"Yes but that wasn't the point" She laughed. "Come now, get rid of that and wash yourself"

What? Is she hitting on me in a very weird way? "No. Actually, I'm leaving" She grabbed my wrist and did not allow me to leave and her top half was out of the water – not that I was looking. "Geek! For fuck sake!"

"You need to loosen up!"

"Well, the method to that is certainly not getting me naked with you in bath! Now let go of me!" I was angrier than ever and I'm quite sure I have never been so angry at her.

She reluctantly let go of my arm and I removed myself from the steamy bathroom, heading to her room where I had a couple of shirts to change into, not really caring about leaving the floor in a wet mess.

I don't know if she took any longer in that damn bath but took long enough for me to leave. The winter was approaching and the weather showed it clearly with a bone freezing breeze, making people start to wear their warm clothing, walk closer to each other and rush inside warm buildings, and then there was me, wearing my only black trousers, boots and a plain shirt – as you can guess I was freezing.

Roaming towards nowhere, following only my will, I climbed up to the highest part of the village until I reached a dead end. At my feet, I had everything and everyone and I asked myself if this was how titans saw us – nothing but screaming ants – sort of terrifying thoughts though.

I looked away at what I could see beyond the walls. Never ending beauty as far as the eyes could see. Huge ass extents of unexplored nature. We were surrounded by it and we had no clue of what was beyond that and everyone was much too afraid to venture outside – excepting the Scouting Legion soldiers of course but we were just a bunch of weird people, everyone and each one of us is 'special' in its own way.

Judging by the sun, I'd say that I wasted a good couple of hours up there and I've been so damn quiet that some stray cat came to nap on my lap.

"Be quiet shitty glasses, you're going to wake up the cat"

"I've been looking for you everywhere!"

The cat woke up, stretched and left. "Look what you've done"

"I don't care! I thought you left for good!"

"And what if I did?" She just stood silent for a second. "It's not like I'm actually living there. It's just for this week right?"

I just felt her stare trying to open wounds on my back and then she started to laugh. "It's not like you have anywhere to go, now, do you?" Since I didn't react at all, her laugh ceased after a while and "Levi….?" apparently she regretted that mean moment of hers. "Levi, say something"

"I do well pretty fine in the streets"

"Levi?"

"If that's a way to kick me out you can leave the things outside. I'll pick them up later"

"Levi" I got on my feet and turned to her, looking her with no feelings at all. My feet moved quietly, as silently as the stray cat from before, walking towards her and giving her some not-so-comfortable feeling of tranquillity.

"See you around, geek"

"Levi! Wait, Levi! I didn't mean it! Levi, please!"

"Don't! Touch me…"

"Levi…"

"Stop it already" I paused. "I know you didn't mean it"

"So you were kidding right? What a relief"

"I didn't say that"

"What?!"

I gave her a long and hard look before speaking – and she was surprisingly quiet. "I dare you to spend a couple of days with me in the street, living like an outsider or the forsaken ones. Two or three nights and you'll understand why I helped that woman that day and why I am such a clean freak" I emphasized the 'clean freak' by representing dashes with my fingers.

Her eyes were fixed on me trying to understand whether I was being serious or not. "I don't know if I can"

"Of course you can, you just don't want to" She tensed up. "You were living in such a dirty environment before I got there, probably not even eating properly, so I believe that for you, living in the street would never be a problem"

"That's kind of offensive"

I turned to continue my way and she followed me in silence for like ten steps. "Can I at least go get some money or something warmer?"

"No"

"But—"

"Forget the house for these days that follow. You were left in the street. You have nothing"

We wondered around the city for the rest of the day, drifting further and further away from her household. In the way, I showed her some little tricks like snatching some loafs of bread and fruit – of course I did not steal any for her, if she wanted to eat, she would have to steal her own. "Hey what are you doing, thief?!" And she failed pretty hard.

"This is too hard and I'm starving and too tired"

"You don't really sound like a Scouting Legion soldier" I got up from our sit under a bridge and headed out. "I'll be right back. Don't do anything stupid"

Have no idea if she actually stayed or if she decided to do some stupid crap but I couldn't focus on that, I needed to focus on getting miss bright mind something to eat because she was hopeless in the street. Well, I had a whole life of intense training but still. Would she manage something if I let her starve? I wonder.

Either way, I got what I wanted and returned. Night had come and snow was falling and she was asleep in the exact same place. I quietly put the things down and lit up a small fire just to warm us up a little and waited, didn't really feel like going through the bother of waking her up.

"Levi..?" She woke up after a while and I simply signalled to the food. Her satisfied look, once again, resembled a dog as she ate.

We sat there in silence for a long while, watching the flames dance in front of us. In a certain moment she moved closer to me and wrapped her jacket around us and then we remained silent, not for much long though. "Thank you"

"For?"

"Taking care of me" This is the part of the book where you join me in my confusion – I glanced at her. "Since you came to my house you cleaned it, cooked for me, did the laundry, looked after me and even now when you dared me to survive in the streets you are taking care of me. Thank you"

I looked back at the small fire asking myself if I've done that much of a great thing. Maybe she was right, I did a lot for her but even though, I felt like she didn't have a need to thank me. "Don't thank me"

"How could I not?! You—"

"I don't deserve it"

She watched me, probably asking herself why I said that and waiting for me to continue and when I turned my head to look at her, I knew she wanted answers – it was written all over her face. For this reason, I got up, killed the weak flame and asked her to follow me.

"Where are we going?"

"Just keep quiet"

"But we're not supposed to—"

"Shut the fuck up, four eyes!" She literally shivered shut and not a single sound game out of her for the rest of the way, not even when she accidentally hit her head on a wall.

I let her down to my hometown – the Underground City, most commonly known as the city of crime. Her eyes flew here and there and I didn't know if that in her eyes was fear or amazement or even confusion. "Wait here" I said and my feet moved towards an old creaky wooden door that leads into a small store full of all types of cloaks and jackets. I picked two dark cloaks – some very dark olive brown – and started my discussion with the store keeper.

"Here" I said as I tossed one of the cloaks at her. "Put it on"

"They are similar to the ones we use in the army…"

"Yes. Put it on and never say that again"

"Why?"

"If you value your life, you won't say it again"

We crossed the city as quiet as we could and as low profiled as possible. The path I chose was confusing for anyone who didn't know the area but I had a purpose to that and it didn't exactly had anything to do with her but with me. A lot of people here would try to corner me if they knew I was back to the city.

In the other side of the city, away from everything – not that that was that big but whatever – I finally came to a stop and signalled her to look up.

Her hood fell as she did so and the surprise on her face was very amusing. I looked up as well. Far above us, above the upper land where everybody lived, completely out of reach were the stars. Billions of them shining upon us and I tell you, brat, that is where all my wishes of living outside of the underground city and becoming free began. Right there, in that cave that opened up to the sky, the only place where, for years, I could have a very tiny taste of the world. The sun, the rain, the stars and once in a while the fresh breeze of the wind. It was one of the most – if not the most – special places for me.

Rain started to fall but, to be honest, I didn't care at all. The feeling of it in my skin and hair was pure, soft and clean and I loved it.

"Levi…"

She had to interrupt me didn't she? Well I brought her with me, what was I expecting? I opened my eyes and looked at her.

"Why did you bring me here?" She kindly asked – I say kindly because there was a smile on her face and her tone was soft.

I looked down at the ground. "I wanted to show you this" I paused. "And to tell you something…."


End file.
